he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
