It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
