Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
