He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
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I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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