In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
