I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
