Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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