if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
