So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Every concussion has its silver lining
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
