Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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