Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
