if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
