More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
