That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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