somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
