I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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