Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
