Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
