I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
