omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
