My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
