Dual....:-)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I party with great urgency now.
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