'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
