i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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