..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
