They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
