just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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