The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
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I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
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If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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