dude i'm inner monologue high
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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