After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize