im drinking this country out of the recession.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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