he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
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We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
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I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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