I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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