I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
