You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize