You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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