We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
