i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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