1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
