I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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