I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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