I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
