Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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