she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So many bounce houses so little time
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
