Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm just crazy horny about you
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
