so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
