I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
farters have to be the big spoon...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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