for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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