Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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