ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
