I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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