A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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