There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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