just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
