is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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