plz talk dirty to me
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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