Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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