That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
