there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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