My brain says no but my pants say off.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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