Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
