I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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