I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
