a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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