shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my phone needs a breathalizer
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
