I wish I only lived at night.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
