why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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