Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
