Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
