How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
one might say we're banned from that church
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
