Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
